Men`s Divorce Dating

Divorce is Stressful

No matter what is the level of conflict between the two spouses or how adamant they are about seeking a divorce, yet, a divorce is undeniably a tough situation marked by a variety of reasons which contribute to pre and post divorce stress and anxiety. However, if we are to summarize it in a few words, it is primarily due to the fear of and the actual process of coping with the change unleashed by a divorce that mostly leads to sleepless nights after a divorce. It is an event which has a wide spectrum that sucks into its ambit, not only the separating spouses, but has serious ramifications for other people involved, be it the children, family friends, relatives or extended family. Involvement of all these entities in such a situation, marked by conflict and turmoil, often gives way to a chaotic scenario which inexorably demands ample amounts of patience, tact and understanding to get over it. If you have recently been divorced or are going through one, chances are that you are facing considerable levels of stress and tension.

Causes of Stress

In a situation marred by a loss of various factors which are cardinal to the sense of well being of an individual in a social setup, it is natural to feel stressed and frustrated. A divorce is not merely the demise of a relationship, but, it deprives us of many basic essentials. The biggest loss that a person incurs after a divorce is the loss of relationships. After a divorce, one permanently looses the company and support of an individual, with whom one spent many sweet and sour moments. The relationship not only expires in its emotional sense, but it is also accompanied by bereavement for the loss of a sexual relationship. The friends and the relatives, most of the times end up taking sides, unfolding the end of many tender bonds forged over a period of time. One also faces the loss of many household responsibilities like caring for the family and parenting, which were are often an important source of personal satisfaction and joy. More than often, a divorce gives way to identity crises, challenging the very existence of an individual and forcing him/her to question and mostly reinvent his/her place in the overall scheme of things.

Symptoms of Stress

Self preservation necessitates that you should watch out for the tell tale symptoms of stress and anxiety after a divorce. It is natural to feel sad, but a more than usual crying or grieving needs to be taken seriously. Unattended tension and fear may give way to frustration and depression. At times, one may feel exhausted and restless. If you are feeling downright confused and experience more than normal fear about personal well being and sustenance, you certainly need help. An overall pessimistic outlook and an unrelenting urge to blame oneself or one’s spouse will only worsen the things. It is vital that you take care of yourself and be aware of any abnormal changes in yourself and your behaviour.

Coping with Stress

It may sound impossible, but try to develop a positive outlook towards life after your divorce. Resuscitate your battered self esteem and sense of self worth by surrounding yourself with a close knit support group comprising of friends, well wishers and family members. Solicit professional help if necessary. Try to develop a deeper sense of self understanding and endeavor to forgive and forget. Accept the divorce as an unchangeable reality of your life and look towards future with an attitude of hope and expectation. Stop blaming yourself and your spouse. Take time to heal. Set aside some time for yourself on a regular basis and reset your priorities. Learn to relax and indulge in some hobby, traveling, fitness activities or social service. Helping others may give you a better insight into your situation. Learn to manage your financial life and set new goals on the career front. It will not only prevent you from brooding over your plight, but will make you financially more independent. If you were not working before divorce, try to get into a job. Otherwise, you may enroll into some school to upgrade your skills and improve your job prospects.

Summary

Always remember that in divorce recovery, attitude is more important than facts. If you can, somehow, manage to change your perspective towards things, half the battle is won. The most important person who can support you through this is you yourself.

I hope these stress tips were helpful.

About the Author:
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk

Tags: Divorce Recovery, Stress Tips, Divorce Stress, Mens Divorce Recovery, Divorce Recovery for Men, Divorce Tips for Men

Today, we’ve got a guest contributor. James Brito

Online dating is a multi-million dollar business, but for my money, I’d rather meet girls the natural way: out and about, in real-life situations. Not the bar, not the club. Just natural, fun ways that get both of you participating and talking about common interests and acquaintances.

Think that’s not possible? Au contraire. There are LOTS of great places to meet girls that don’t involve shelling out $75 a night for drinks or $30 just to get into a club. I met my girlfriend of the last two years on a tour through Berlin, and I know another guy who met his wife in his economics class. In both cases, we guys didn’t EXPECT anything to happen, and that was key. Remember, when you’re not looking, that’s when girls tend to show up! Expect the unexpected.

Besides this fact, girls LOVE to have a romantic story about how they met you. Believe me, they’d rather say that they met you in a one-in-a-million chance encounter in Paris than in a club, dancing to raunchy music. You have to appeal to their romantic sensibilities. Just look at all the Hollywood movies, like “Sleepless in Seattle”, where girls meet guys on the radio, on the Empire State Building, in places you generally WOULDN’T EXPECT TO MEET.

It’s a fundamental rule: Girls don’t want the everyday, the routine, the expected. They want the UNexpected, the UNlikely, the UNbelievable. They want something special they can tell all their friends, and that’s why looking-or rather, NOT actively looking-outside the regular venues is a winning idea.

So what are some places I recommend for meeting the love of your life? Well, of course you can’t HAVE the attitude that you’re looking; just play it cool, and be patient. I recommend the following five best places to meet women:

1. Abroad. While traveling solo can work, it’s even better to go on a tour. Instant access to lots of girls traveling alone (or with a friend), and wanting to find a man of their own. Tours are GREAT ways for meeting chicks. And no matter where you’re from, there are SO many benefits to going to a country carrying a foreign accent.

2. At work. I ONLY recommend this if you are not in the same exact office together; you need some distance between you in case things go south. NEVER go for a girl who works 5 feet away from you; it will just create too many problems. My best friend’s messy relationship with an office mate proves this! But I dated a girl who worked in another department, and the break-up was fine; no messy office problems, no anxiety in the workplace. So if the attraction is there, right along with the distance, work offers a bounty of potential mates.

3. Evening Classes. Doesn’t get much easier than this. Social network? Check. You’re in the class, you get to know people, you’re all it in together. Something in common with the girl? Duh. Double check! Easy conversations-talk about the class, your dreams, what you’re doing here, etc. There are many other advantages, as well, but I think you can see how classes are a great way to find a girl. The best ones are those that only last 5-10 weeks-that way if you do go out with a classmate and things go sour, you won’t have to see her for long afterwards!

4. Through friends and family. In a “Sex in America” study, it was found that roughly two-thirds of the marrying couples met through mutual friends, coworkers, or family members. Never underestimate the value of using your friends, family, and even work acquaintances and classmates to find you a special someone. The best example I can think of is my good friend Rick, who met his wife through mutual friends. The two have been madly in love for 6 years and married for just over one year, and it’s still going great. Clearly there is value in using your “human resources” to find a girlfriend, or even wife.

5. Random, unexpected public places. Often the Best places to meet women are created when you’re not looking. For example, on a night when I wasn’t even on the prowl, I met a girl I would date for two years while waiting for the NYC subway! And I met another girlfriend on a bus in Australia. You may only meet her for five minutes, but big things can happen from small moments. Life is crazy, so embrace the unpredictability of it all!

This should help all of you out there wanting to know how and where to meet more women. Good luck, and remember: the less you look, the more you find! Go to one of these places relaxed and not desperate, and you may not even have to look. Your dream girl might just come and find YOU.

About the Author:
James Brito, bestselling author of “How to Be Irresistible to Women” and “The Art of Impressing Women,” delves into the secrets of female attraction.

Keyword: best places to meet women

There she is. You want her. She’s giving you all the right signals. She’s flirting really hard. She clearly wants you.

But you don’t quite know how to get the girl of your dreams to take the next step. So you bide your time. An hour, a day, a week a month… whatever. You finally make your move and…. she rejects you.

Hunh? What happened here?

That’s a bit of complicated issue. But, I hope this article helps.

Today I spoke to a guy who used to work at the major airport in my city, and he told me an interesting story. I really hope it’s true. But either way, it really illustrates what separates Alpha males from the other 98% of society.

I’d really like to hear from the girls on this topic. THIS is one of the best pick-up tips I can give you.

A few years ago, there was a baggage handler who worked in my friend’s terminal. He absolutely despised his job, and the pay was crap. But this was the best job he could get.

Then one day, his hand got stuck in the conveyor, and it ripped the middle finger off his right hand.

Because this was a union job, he knew that he’d get $20,000 for the missing finger. He finally had his big break. With this money, he could go to school, get a degree and completely change his life for the better. He could finally live well enough to raise a family and provide for his kids.

As he looked down, there was blood squirting everywhere. And his finger was completely detatched. It was just hanging there by a piece of skin. All he had to do was yank it off and chuck it across the room where nobody would find it.

He took a deep breath and prepared himself.

But all of a sudden, a security guard grabs him and immediately starts first-aid treatment. They sent him to the hospital, where they successfully reattatched his finger. The doctors did such a great job that he was back at work handling baggage within less than a month.

How strong is your decision-making muscle? Train yourself to automatically make decisions as your default reaction.

The ability to make fast decisions and seize opportunities… This is one of the main factors that separates the average nice guy from the bad boy who always seems to be getting the girl.

And don’t worry about making mistakes. When you’re on your death bed, 90% of your regrets will be about things you didn’t do.

Welcome to the Men’s Divorce Dating blog.

Once upon a time, you were well-socialized. You and your friends would go out every weekend and meet gorgeous women.

And whenever you had a question about women, you had this really cool friend who was experienced with girls. You could always count on this guy to give you the best advice. The real deal. None of this “Dr. Phil” crap.

Then you got into a relationship. As time went by, you slowly lost touch with all of your cool bachelor friends. Then all of a sudden, it’s 5 years later. You’re divorced and all alone.

You’re older, fatter, depressed. And you have nobody to turn to. You don’t need a therapist. You don’t need a relationship book.

You need your old player friends back.

You need someone who’s going to give you the real deal. You need a friend who won’t tell you what women want. (Because nobody really knows that) Instead, he’ll only tell you what they respond to. He’ll only tell you what works.

If you’ll let me, I’d like to be this friend. I understand your pain, and I have answers that will help you put the pieces back together.

Of course, maybe you already have a friend like this. But whenever you ask him a question, he’ll give you completely useless advice like “be confident” or “be a man”. How do you do that???

“Be a man” is great advice. But it’s useless unless you have a translator. And that’s where I come in.

I won’t tell you how to buy flowers. I won’t tell you how to write poems. I’ll only tell you how to get your perfect girlfriend, and make her addicted to your love.

And I’ll do it in a language you can understand.

So having said that, I’d like to welcome you to my new blog.

Subscribe to the feed and bookmark this page. You’ll be back. I’m sure of it.

Keywords: Men’s Divorce Dating

Recovering from divorce can be one of the most painful experiences in life. So when you’ve lost a true love, how do you cope?

As someone who’s been around the block a few times, I’ve gained a lot of useful insight on how to recover from divorce.

Here are a few of my top divorce recovery tips:

• Early on, you must learn to accept your pain. If your leg was broken, you’d think it would hurt for a while and you would organize your life to deal with it. This is no different for emotional pain. In order to deal with heartbreak, allow your heart to be broken for a while. You’ll find that it heals easier if you just allow nature to take its course.
• Realize that the divorce recovery process can be a rollercoaster ride - not a smooth road. A physical injury might steadily improve as days go by. Emotional pain won’t heal like that. You’ll have a streak of good days, then BANG! You have a string of bad days. Expect these, and you’ll discover you can cope with heartache much more easily.
• Avoid adding guilt or anger to the mix. If you’ve been abandoned, it’s normal to feel anger. Anger is not necessarily a bad emotion - it’s better than depression or hopelessness. Just make sure you channel this in a healthy direction.
• Avoid staying angry. Anger is just a phase. It’s just part of how you cope with the pain of heartache, but it shouldn’t be the only answer! It can take lots of energy to remain angry, and the only you’re the only person who winds up being hurt. You’ll eventually get bored with the anger - so look for signs of healing and use them to move on!
• Finally, remember that the Chinese word for “crisis” the same as for “opportunity.” Endings are also new beginnings. Every night, before you go to sleep, allow your mind to tiptoe back through your day and try to find at least 3 great things that happened to you that day. It might be as simple as a someone smiling at you, hearing a great song, or seeing a great sporting event on TV. Write these down. If you compile your “magic moments” in a notebook, in a year you’ll have thousands of great memories! And as you focus on positives, you’ll find your life will improve. Change will be slow at first, then faster and faster - as if by magic!

This is the best way I know to recover from divorce. Just remember, the greatest revenge is success - and when it comes to coping with heartache, that success your personal happiness.

Tags: Recover from Divorce, Divorce Recovery, Tips for Men